Matt Garza learned women are pricey

photo via My Cubs Today

photo via My Cubs Today

Look everyone knows women are expensive

We blow thousands of dollars annually on frivols things like manicures, shoes and birth control pills

And lord knows I have some high class taste myself. If ever I run out of gin, you better  believe I’m reaching for the Listerine and not some knock off brand mouth wash like some kind of Ukrainian peasant

But Matt Garza (seen here dressed up for Halloween as a Tribble) learned a hard lesson last year, a lesson we SHOULD be teaching in schools, which was never do anything nice for your wife because it will literally cost you millions of dollars.

Via MLB Fancave

 Why didn’t Matt Garza jump at that four-year, $52 million offer from the Los Angeles Angels in December?

Bad timing, he said Monday in Milwaukee Brewers camp.

“They offered, but it was more of a weird situation,” said Garza, who wound up getting $50 million in guaranteed money from Milwaukee. “I was on vacation with my wife and I didn’t want to be disturbed, and it was like, ‘Here it is, we’ll pull it in a certain amount of hours.’ I didn’t have a chance to respond, so I just said, ‘Whatever. It is what it is.’”

Garza and wife Serina were in Turks and Caicos at the time, on an anniversary trip. The Angels subsequently pulled the offer, and it would be about six weeks before Garza signed with the Brewers.

How would you ever look at her again knowing she cost you the chance to live in LA with an extra 2 million?

There is literally nothing I wouldn’t do to Handsome James for 2 million dollars.

Cancel my anniversary trip? Done.

Want me to punch him in the throat for an additional $50,000? How about a round house kick straight to the goolies for $25,000?

Okay fine, $5. You drive a hard bargain